Here's how my family spent one of our evenings the other day: practicing, um, being killed. In front of a camera. Yep. I have no clue whose idea it was, but I was given five minutes to practice a dramatic death to perform for a camera. And I had to die via Sam stabbing me. Beyond overcoming the common feeling of ridiculousness, I had to base my performance on something.
Problem #1-- I've never seen someone stabbed before, let alone being stabbed by a triumphant 6-year-old.
Problem #2-- I made the assumption that dead people can no longer maintain an upright position on their own, which meant they probably descend limply, quickly, and with absolutely no regard to their personal comfort to wherever gravity may beckon them. A move I was supposed to replicate... oh joy.
Problem #3-- I was now down to three minutes, and Sam was experiencing some difficulty adhering to my instruction.
So I get in front of the camera, prepare my facial expression, and await Sam's stabbing, while desperately debating what happens to a person's face when they get stabbed.
It all happens rather fast, and then, as I begin my descent, I once again feel a bit odd at the fact that imitating death became our family's recreational event of the evening. So I forget two very important things:
I am falling.
I just died.
So, when I reach the floor, I am smiling, which is not a common characteristic of a stabbed individual. Also uncommon to the deceased, I mutter a shocked 'ow', which did not aid to the reality of my performance.
My other siblings followed, Ella dying the funniest of all. A car accident being the cause of her demise, she had as her helper Reuben. Ella's part was not actually that funny, but as the car started rolling and she began thrashing around, Reuben remained quite unaffected by the incident, and walked away alive. Luckily, the performance of the assistant did not influence the score.
(Fear not, Ella walked away alive as well)
I don't think we will be doing that again.
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